All my life I have loved superheroes. It doesn’t matter if they get their powers through a lab accident or through supernatural means — I’m gonna watch that movie, record that t.v. show and read that story. You don’t have to be a psychologist to deduce that this stems from feelings of powerlessness, particularly when the world around us seems to be getting far more dangerous.
Take Ukraine, for example, I wish the Avengers would fly in and set things right. They could make the Russian troops leave the area and for a comedic finale, they would spank Putin with one of Hawkeye’s arrows.
Perhaps Doctor Who (yes, I know his name is the Doctor but you have to say the whole thing so non- Whovians know who you’re talking about) could take his tardis to North Korea and whisk Kim Jong Un and his cronies to a distant planet where they have to work in a medical waste facility for the rest of their lives.
School shooting? Send in Buffy.
Global warming? It’s time for Superman.
Ebola outbreak? The Star Trek crew can wipe that shit out.
Although, when it comes to the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls, forget about the superheroes – I want to go there myself and rescue them. Maybe at the head of an all-female army with synchronized periods. None of the kidnappers would survive our amazonian onslaught!
I say all this despite the fact that I am very liberal. I don’t support the death penalty, I would like the military to be cut in half (at least) and I want prisons transformed from places where we punish criminals to facilities that promote human betterment.
But superheroes are such a simple, appealing solution. Something, whether it be God or Science, has endowed them with the right to take justice into their own hands. And we don’t have to police them – they have moral and emotional struggles that do the job for them and they always end up doing the right thing.
So, who’s with me for a trip to Nigeria?