I think I’ve learned to have low expectations for birthdays and other celebrations in my life. When I was a kid I would give my friends a daily countdown to my birthday party starting a month ahead of time (you know, so they would have plenty of time to shop for me). But when you set your standards so ridiculously high, there’s no way you’re not going to be disappointed.
By the time I was in my 30’s I was satisfied with just going out to work with my co-workers for my big day. But I wasn’t a very social person and I rarely made connections with my co-workers. But I was always the one who made sure everyone else had a good birthday. Still, no birthday lunches came my way.
Then, one year, when I realized that nobody was going to take me out to lunch I sent out an email inviting my co-workers to have lunch with me for my birthday because, dammit, if nobody is going to do it for me I’d better do it myself. It was a good lunch and in the years following I didn’t have to do so much planning for my own birthday. And I get more and more presents every year.
It’s the same with Mother’s Day for me. The first year I had an idea of what I wanted to do and was deeply disappointed when it didn’t happen. But since then it’s gotten better. This year we had a family brunch at our house and we ate in our newly furnished patio. It was very enjoyable.
I also told my husband I wanted sweatpants instead of candy or flowers and he really came through – with Wonder Woman pajama bottoms! I couldn’t have been happier.
This led me to think: Maybe next year we could replace all of those flower vendors on every street corner with sweatpant and pajama vendors. I think the world would be a much happier place.