In about a month I will be going to the BlogHer convention and I figured I should actually try and write a few posts before I go. Like many people, I started my blog because I think I am a decent writer and could actually make a living at it. However, it takes more than talent to become a writer. It also takes time. Which I have very little to spare. But I digress.
When I started my first blog I invited all my friends to follow me, including a very talented friend who writes about her polyamorous lifestyle with her transsexual wife. She is the one who encouraged me to go to BlogHer and I had a little extra money at the time so, why not?
Since then, I seem to be getting the silent treatment from her. My emails go unanswered and my comments on her blog mysteriously disappear. I think I accidentally insulted her by telling her to ‘do what makes her happy’ because she later wrote about how she hates it when people say that. It seems like a strange thing to shun someone for though, so I may have done something else to offend her. Knowing me, I could totally see that happening. But I’ll never know because instead of telling me what I did I got radio silence.
This is not the first time it has happened. For over a decade a man who I used to view as a father figure has completely refused to talk to me. I really, truly have no idea what I did to him and it’s gone on so long I have stopped caring. I mean, when I was younger I truly did some stupid things to piss him off and I should definitely not have slept with him. But we had been past all that the last time I spoke with him. Now, whenever I see him at parties held by mutual friends he pretends I don’t exist. I’m seriously tempted to just go up to him all excited and pretend he’s not ignoring me. I’m like that.
I should probably get off of my high horse about how mistreated I am by all those emotionally immature stupidheads. Because, the truth is, I have given many people the silent treatment and they certainly had no idea why. There was my friend who started selling Amway. That’s a friendship dealbreaker right there, but looking back, I think it was more because I wanted to stop being her ugly sidekick.
Then there was the guy who had a crush on me. After a road trip I knew he was going to try to kiss me so I jumped into my car and sped away, never to speak to him again. He sent me long emails telling me how he cries all night wondering what he did to me. I never responded.
And there were several co-workers that I pre-judged on random things they did that made me decide that they were idiots and not worth bothering with.
Jeez, I was kind of a jerk. No, I was a total asshole. Although, in fairness, it’s been years since I’ve thought the Silent Treatment was an option for how to treat another human being. That’s one of the things about working with therapists – you learn to talk shit out. But karma still has its work to do and I accept it. But if I see my friend at BlogHer I am totally going to talk to her.